


Leave Out All The Rest

by QuillsAndInk



Series: Belly Of The Beast [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Bittersweet, Bittersweet Ending, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, I'm Sorry, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, not very happy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-07
Updated: 2016-03-07
Packaged: 2018-05-25 06:03:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6183529
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QuillsAndInk/pseuds/QuillsAndInk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Pre-season nine finale AU. Dean is afraid of death, and Cas comforts him as best he can.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Leave Out All The Rest

Leave Out All The Rest

_When my time comes,_

_Forget the wrong that I've_ _done._

_Help me leave behind some,_

_Reasons to be missed._

_Leave out all the rest_.

                          ~Leave Out All The Rest, Linkin Park

Dean had never admitted to being frightened by death. He'd died enough times to be used to it by now. He'd sold his soul and gone to hell to save Sam, he'd been shot by insane hunters and gone to heaven, he'd died countless other times he couldn't even remember. But. this time was different. He wrapped his arms more tightly around Castiel, who was lying next to him. He drew in a deep breath.

"I'm afraid, Cas." Three words Dean had never expected to speak aloud. The angel looked back at him.

"I know." The simple acknowledgement offered no pity and Dean found that strangely comforting.

"I don't want to leave you. I guess I never really thought about it before, but the last few months, with you, I don't want it to end. I don't want to die." There was nothing remotely freeing about admitting his fear, only guilt at burdening Castiel with his weakness. There were very good reasons Dean Winchester wasn't the sharing caring type. They had been seared into his mind by long years of loss, guilt, and the teachings of his father.

Castiel moved closer to Dean. Their bodies pressed together under the thin sheets. "It's alright to be afraid, Dean. I'm afraid too, I'm afraid of what will happen tomorrow; I'm afraid I'll never see you again."

"Cas," Dean closed his eyes, unable to bear the love and acceptance he saw in the angel's blue eyes. "Promise me something.

“Anything.”

“Promise…promise you won't remember me."

"Dean..."

"No, let me finish. I don't want you to remember everything I've done. I don't want you to think about all the people who've died because of me. I don't want you to think about how much I've screwed this up. Please, Cas, just forget about me. I've done so much that I can't forgive myself for, and I don't want that to be how you think of me, so please, just forget."

They lay there in silence for what seemed an eternity and Dean was afraid to open his eyes, afraid to see Castiel's hurt, puzzled expression.

"Dean, look at me." When Castiel used that tone there was no arguing with him. Dean opened his eyes.

Castiel looked neither hurt nor puzzled. Dean gazed into his eyes and felt the softness of the angel's onyx wings wrap around his shoulders.

"Dean, I will forget you someday. Everyone forgets, even angels." Dean nodded and started to turn away, but Castiel stopped him with a gentle hand. "But I won't stop believing in you."

Dean blinked in confusion. No one had ever believed in him before. At least not unconditionally. Belief had always been on an if-then basis. If you do this, then I'll believe in you. If you stop the apocalypse, then I'll believe in you. If you find Gadreel, then I'll believe in you. If you don't let the Mark of Cain control you, then I'll believe in you. The belief that Castiel was offering him was free, there was no silent qualifier. No _if you come back I'll believe in you_ , only a quiet, steadfast belief.

"Cas, I don't..."

"I've always believed in you and I always will. Even when I doubted you, I still believed you would overcome my doubts. It's true you've done terrible things, as have I, but nothing will shake my belief in you. I love you, Dean Winchester, and I believe in you. I will forget you, but my belief in you will never falter."

Dean realized he was crying, but for once he felt no shame. He buried his face in Castiel's shoulder and let the tears come.

Castiel kissed Dean's forehead gently and ran his fingers through the hunter's hair, massaging his scalp. He moved his hand down to work the tension from Dean’s neck and shoulders. The angel shifted, wrapping his wings more tightly around the hunter's shaking body and held him close until Dean's tears began to subside.

"Cas?" Dean asked softly.

"Dean?"

"Love you."

Castiel pressed another gentle kiss to his forehead. "I love you too."

"Cas?" Even softer this time. "I'm going to die tomorrow."

"Perhaps," Castiel murmured, lips pressed to Dean’s ear, “but rest now, dear one.”

Dean buried his head deeper into Castiel's chest and breathed in the angel's scent. Castiel didn't smell human. He smelled powerful, like a bottled supernova, and there was a hint of something almost silvery. Something like Dean what had imagined starlight and moonbeams would smell when he was very young, too young to understand that he was too old for fairy tales. The angel's smell always calmed Dean, made him feel safe. He sighed and let the tension leave him. He would die tomorrow, maybe the next day he would be alive again, but tonight he was safe. He fell asleep with Castiel's wings wrapped around him and the angel's belief in him mending his broken soul.

Dean woke at dawn and gently extricated himself from Castiel's embrace. The angel appeared to be sleeping but Dean knew better. Castiel was trying to spare him the pain of a goodbye, understanding somehow that Dean would be unable to say it. Castiel understood him better than anyone ever had, except maybe Sam.

He leaned down and kissed the angel's soft lips. Castiel returned his kiss gently without opening his eyes. Dean pulled on his clothes hurriedly and crossed the cabin, pausing with momentary indecision near the door. Dean didn't see Castiel watching him through half closed eyes as he paused, considering the two coats hanging by the door. After a moment Dean smiled slightly and pulled on Castiel's trench coat before slipping silently through the door into the morning stillness of the woods.

Castiel blinked back the tears gathering in his eyes. He would always believe in Dean Winchester, and part of that belief was knowing that he would see Dean again. Someday, no matter how impossible, they would meet again. They had to. They were destined to know each other. In life or in death, remembered or forgotten, but always believed in, and always loved.

**Author's Note:**

> DISCLAIMER: I do not own, nor claim to own Supernatural or the characters therein. They belong to the CW network and Eric Kripke. I also cannot claim the lyrics at the beginning, they belong to the band Linkin Park. All rights reserved. I clam nothing but the plot. I make no monetary benefit off this story. I live to entertain.


End file.
